I can't help but ponder over and over again the sweet little faces of little boys and girls without homes and families. In fact the word orphan gives me chills, a child deprived. I really don't like the word. There just seems to be a never ending supply of photos of these sweet endearing children.
The struggle of convincing people that these children deserve families just like my Zac, Caleb, Nathan, and Noah do seems challenging to me. Trying to explain over and over again, why these helpless children belong in families who love them can be really frustrating . I don't understand why it is just so hard to get. Kids with no families headed to adult institutions where they live out the rest of there lives, or family with love, cuddles, learning, and growing. Is it really that hard to understand which is better? All children deserve love. Then it hit me, these worldly people aren't thinking about the possibility that an orphan could have a family or not. I have come to the realization that people aren't really thinking about those that need a home but how it is going to affect our family personally. In some strange way I think they are just concerned for us. Maybe they think we aren't thinking straight and maybe if they tell us then maybe we will come to our senses. The thing is, it is our life, and we love these children. Our hearts break for them, when just one has found the love of a family we celebrate. When one heads to a institution we pray that soon they will also have a family. We aren't going to change our mind.
So what does this really mean for us. One more child to feed, one more child to love, one more child to put to bed every night, one more child to hand me flowers from the backyard in the summer and say they love me, one more child I can kiss after a fall from a bike, one more of God's biggest blessings. I love the fact that I have a large family, I love the nature of noise constantly around me, I love how there is never a dull moment, I love how they all come to me when there is a problem. I cherish this season of my life, even the quirky behaviors of my littlest. I love the fact that we as a family want to love an orphan and make one an orphan no more.
I'm not trying to be unrealistic here, I know that we are going to have a new kind of challenge in our life. In all honestly we have no idea what kind of condition Nellie will be in when we get to her. We don't know any of her medical history, we don't even know if she has been transferred yet. We just have no idea. I'm preparing my heart for whatever it is we see when we finally get on that plane and get to her. No matter what she will be loved, not matter what kind of condition she is in we will bring her home. We didn't say yes Lord we will got get her if..... We said yes Lord we will go, we will follow your heart, we will go get one of those that means so much to you. I am willing to love her, no matter what.
So the silence of friends who when they see us and never inquire to how things are going, I'm not letting it get to me anymore. I'm just not, I need to be at peace about it. So soon we will be a family of 8 and I am ready to see what that means for us in the new year. Counting all my blessings.