Speechless

Sometimes, my God just leaves me speechless.  It's just crazy, here I am thinking that we were going to be all alone in this process.  Oh my how I was wrong.  I still really can't believe it.  First as we were getting ready to commit to Nellie we saw that another family from Kearney, NE had just started there home study.  How unbelievable that was and still is to me.  Not only another family but we are adopting from the same country both little girls with down syndrome.  Our family dynamics are even similar.

Then I learn of several other families in our community that have adopted through RR in the past several years.  Really, how amazing is that?  We actually met these families a week ago, and they are all so supportive.  I look at their children and almost can't help but weep with joy.  If you don't know me I can cry at the drop of a hat.  I can't help it, I get extremely emotional especially at what is so close to my heart. Today, Zachary and Caleb and I watched a video on facebook, of one of there little boys when he actually met his siblings.  My boys sat there in complete awe, that little boy was swarmed with love from his sisters the moment they met.  Caleb looks at me and says they are an awesome family, and says it's going to be like that when Nellie gets here isn't it.  I hugged him and said yes Caleb it is.

I know these families are a blessing to me.  All I know is that when there is a need He provides, and I know these families were a need and they have been provided.  Oh my prayer is that when we have our daughter home somehow we are a blessing to another family who is willing to follow His lead and bring home a child. I pray that hearts are changed.  I don't  think I will ever stop advocating for these children, they are my heart.  All I know is that when I don't understand I trust God, when things are uncertain I trust God, when I'm having a bad day I  trust God, when  the obstacles seem to big to overcome I trust God, when I worry about where the money is going to come from I trust God, and when I am weak I trust God for strength.

I have been thinking today about Isaiah 40:28-31 today.  Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak.  Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Miss Nellie

I'm not really sure if many of you could tell that Nellie is four years old from the photos I have shared.  So here is the most recent photo of Nellie.  I'm not sure how recent it is but wow she has grown.  Nellie is going to be five in few months.  I wish I could be counting the days for her arrival but that just isn't known as of yet. So I sit here dreaming about cuddling her, chasing after her, dressing her in pink, and just plain having her here.  It seems so strange as she is so part of our family already.  We talk about her daily, pray for her daily, and can't wait for the day she can come home.

So I took a few days off from thinking about paperwork, and that was just what I needed.  So maybe next week I will try tackling some more.  We are waiting for our passports to come in the mail, and on papers from our mortgage lender, and on papers from the doctors office.  Next week I have an appointment with a CPA to verify my income.  I'm praying I have good enough records and that it goes smoothly.  We are trudging along slowly.  Taking it one day at a time.

Just One of Those Days.

Ugh, reality hit me today.  As paperwork swarms my thoughts, I can't help but let the ideas of defeat enter my head.  I am a person who thinks I need to have control, and know what's going on at all times.  During this journey,  I daily have to turn this over to my Lord as I have no control over any of it.  Faith, ah this is a process of faith.  Dependence, is what I am learning right now, total dependence on Him.  This verse is speaking to me loudly.
John 5:30
   ³⁰ “^(A)I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and ^(B)My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but ^(C)the will of Him who sent Me.
I'm getting it, utter, total, complete dependence on God.  A work in progress, that's what I am.  

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

The last two days have been very full with our garage sale.  I just wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you who donated items, and for those that stopped by to support our family.  It was awesome,  first thing Friday morning our tables were heaping piles of  donated items.  I really couldn't believe how much stuff people blessed our family with for this sale.  Your generosity will not be forgotten.  We raised over 600.00 and are so grateful to all who played a part in that.


Towards the end of today, as I was packing up the leftovers, I met a women who gave me some perspective.  This lady walked up and I told her if there was anything she wanted she could just have it.  The lady whom I don't even know her name started chatting with me.  She told me her story,  her heartaches, and the struggles of her life.   We chatted and I very zealously told her about Miss Nellie.  After we talked a few other people came and my attention was diverted. This woman hung around for about an hour, looking through my stuff.  As she was about ready to leave she came over to me and handed me a five dollar bill, put it in my hand and said bless you, go get that little girl.  From our conversation I knew that money was one of her struggles and I tried to protest and not take it, but she looked me in the eye with a smile on her face and said I want you to have it.  You are doing a good thing.  This one women's heart touched me so much, she was sincerely generous, and joyous about giving to help bring Nellie home.  She gave, to us and I am truly humbled.  Thanking my Lord for all he has and continues to provide for me?  I am truly blessed because of God's grace.   Thankful, that He is a faithful.  Thankful, that he has chosen us to be Nellie's family.  Thankful for all of the people that are so supportive of our journey.  Thankful for his Love for me.  My heart is overjoyed and thankful today.  Thank you

Joy, Joy, Joy

I just read an update on sweet Julia.  It makes me so happy to see how happy and healthy she looks.  Julia was one of the first blogs that I followed after Adeye posted about her and her condition. Oh, how I can't wait for the day that I get to see my Nellie and love on her.

First Home Visit

Tomorrow is the day of our first home visit.  Please pray that it goes smoothly.  I have all these different scenarios in my head of what could go wrong.  Our social worker said that I could have daycare tomorrow so my helper will be here with my daycare kiddos.  She said it was fine as long as there were few interruptions.  So in my head I wonder if tomorrow is the day the licencing lady will stop by, or the food program lady as they make unannounced visits.  Now since we just moved this is something that is potential,  I'm praying that my worst case scenario doesn't become my reality.  Also, sw will be here at 12:30 until 2:30 and Dan has an interview for a night position at his job at 2:30.  So things need to go smoothly so he can leave right away and get to that interview.
I have no idea what to expect, but hoping for the best.

Hokey, I really don't want to go there.

Yes, I was told tonight that I was having some hokey ideas.  Ck, so I can say yes they were kind of corny.  My dear husband came home from work to here me go on and on about some corny ideas for fundraisers.  My first response to him was well they weren't my ideas that they were in fact other peoples suggestions.  I am so at a loss of fundraiser ideas that I was half tempted to try some of these hokey ideas.  I am so glad that the Lord gave me Dan.  He grounds me, I have a tendency to get carried away with things as he just sits back and is chill about the whole situation.  I think this process for him has just been go with the flow, if it is God's will then it will happen. Faith, maybe he is just abundantly overflowing with it. Me on the other hand, so often I have to catch myself, because I think I can do it myself.  Oh then I here the gentle voice that says Beth you are not in control.  Yet again, I am reminded that yes Lord I can surrender this to you also.  My faith will rest in your power and not my own.  I just have to say maybe I am a slow learner who knows, I just like to think of myself as a work in progress.

So anyways, as far as paperwork goes I am feeling like I am in the middle of ten things at once.
Fingerprints are in the mail to the state patrol.
First round of RR paperwork has all been notarized correctly after the 4th time, and is in the mail to the secretary of state to be apostilled.
Passport photos on mind and hopefully taken this weekend.
Processing the next round of RR paperwork.
Working on stuff for the homestudy.
Social Worker visit Tuesday, so hopefully I can make the house not look like we just moved in a little over 2 weeks ago.
Garage Sale fundraiser on Friday and Saturday of next week, so the garage needs organized, as people keep bringing stuff over for us to sell.  (Which is such a blessing)
Baking needs done for garage sale.
School will start Monday no matter what.