I'm Back!

Coming back to write a post on my blog is a bit overwhelming.  I spent a good 8 months, with high and low emotions that go along with adoption, and to scroll through the posts I see how it ends abruptly right when we thought we were to be leaving to get the girls.  How devastating the last several months have been.  I can't even tell you how I longed to leave the country and bring those girls home.  I have debated with myself for the last month weather I should come back and blog at all.  The last few days I have been getting comments from different people  asking if they could have access to my blog.  I thought to  myself oh how disappointed would they be to get here and see nothing for the past several months.  There was no happy ending to our story.  (YET)  So as of now, my blog will be opened back up for the few readers that I have.  My ultimate goal for this blog is for others to see redemption in adoption.  I so badly want everyone I know to get it, and maybe my words will encourage someone down the road.  I am not the most elegant writer, I have several blogger friends that write, and my they write how I feel.  IT isn't about my writing skills but it is about my heart.

All I can say is our adoption is back on track, we had a problem and we couldn't travel to our first appointment.  In the long run we ended up having to redo our home study,  be re approved for immigration, and send in a new dossier to the girls country. All of these things are done, and we are back at the point of waiting to be submitted and then waiting for a travel date.  So here we wait for another 4 to 6 weeks until we travel.  So everything seems to be good.  There is one thing that has greatly changed in these months and it is me.  It is really hard to explain, but these months I have learned  more of a true dependence on my savior.     There were days of deep pain, yet there were days when I was in complete praise. I was crushed, heart broken and desperately I wanted to do whatever I could to get to my girls, but there was nothing that I physically could do to change the situation.  I had no power at all.  Here is the greatest difference you will see in me, I finally get it.  I have no power in anything by myself.  If this adoption is to occur, it is all the Lord's doing.  Did I get that before, yes sort of.  The difference is I fully have confidence and trust in the fact that if we are to adopt these girls then  the Lord will make the way, in His time, and in His way.  I am truly at peace with that.  He has the ultimate plan in work here.  Peace, I think I have learned that no matter what the circumstance I can have peace, and joy.

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.  Philippians 4:6-9

I love the way God uses this verse in my life.  When I first started following Him, this verse was one that helped me start to break through the baggage of my past.  These months I have clung to this verse in a completely different way. One where Jesus has held me up and showed me how to have peace in my heart not matter what.